“How did you become disabled?” “Were you born that way?” “What’s it like to be disabled?” Such uninvited questions posed to a person with a visible impairment are not merely personal – they’re impolite, invasive, and ableist. Yet many people report they frequently face an expectation to share their highly personal information, as though their bodies were somehow public property. Two quotes worth some reflection:
“There is a tendency for people to believe they are entitled to ask intrusive questions about the bodies of people with disabilities and to expect them to reveal personal information about themselves for the benefit, education, or curiosity of others.”
– K. Stollznow (07-Jul-2021). “So What’s Wrong with You?”: How people with disabilities battle forced intimacy. Psychology Today.
“I am always expected to do the work of opening myself up for others’ benefit, education, curiosity or benevolent oppression.”
– M. Mingus. (06-Aug-2017). Forced Intimacy: An Ableist Norm. https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com.
What’s your experience with forced intimacy?
